Intern Sweatshop: How Do You Using Social Media?

I remember when I thought that Facebook was pointless. I had the idea it was only used for people who were in college, and I wasn’t in school so I didn’t see a reason to sign up. People convinced me to check it out, and told me that more than just students were using it. Now my mother posts more on Facebook than I do.

The point is that everyone is using social media today, and it is used for more than just telling people what is on your mind. Social media can be used for many different reasons including locating people, gathering information, advertising, as a resume of sorts, but most importantly as a tool to connect with other people.

Think of what happened in Egypt as a prime example. A Google executive Wael Ghonim started a Facebook page that called for protests on January 25th, which is now known as the “Day of Wrath.” He called for the protests in response to the violent beating death of an Egyptian businessman, who was beaten to death after he planned on exposing corruption in the government. The page was named after the man who died, and was called “We are all Khaled Said.” Ghonim was arrested on January 28th and was released twelve days later. The rest is history.

I remember following a New York Times list on Twitter that posted people live in Tahrir Square as the news Mubarak had stepped down. One woman posted that she couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time, and I could follow Egyptian’s reactions as they were happening in real-time. It was so moving that I almost cried myself.

Ghonim used social media to broadcast his message, and gather people to form a revolution. This has spawned many other similar events in the Middle East such as Libya, Bahrain, and Yemen; and others are just now beginning to quell into a true social movement for change.

Social media allows for someone to get a message out quickly, and to a large number of people. Word spreads quickly on Facebook and Twitter, and news is almost instantaneous. With the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan the news of the event came from social media first, with the actual news second going so far as to cite what they were seeing on Twitter as sources.

What do you think it would have been like on 9/11 if Facebook and Twitter were around then, and were used in the capacity that they are today? It could have been much easier for people to find out if their loved ones were okay via social media avenues. Imagine if social media was around during the times of the Titanic?

It is clear that social media is changing the way that information is disseminated. The news that Michael Jackson died shut down Twitter for a short period of time. This is an example of how often today people get their news from social media and from their friends. Who better to trust than your friends on social media?
Advertising has been changed tremendously and most companies now have social media sites. Even so, some companies have yet to utilize this avenue effectively for marketing purposes, they are left trying to answe the question: How does a Facebook page actually translate to sales?


The bottom line is that social media has an enormous impact on how societies today communicate with each other. If Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest in the world, and it is continuing to grow. It has become an avenue for unprecedented open communication. I think we have just now tipped the iceberg for how it will be used in the future. The question is… how do you use social media?

Robert Devereux , Account Executive Intern/Inquisitive Soul

Last Heard on the Intern Sweatshop: Apparently Our Custmers Like Our Crappy Commercials

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Intern Sweatshop: The Rise and Fail of Advertising

Have you seen the Volkswagen commercial with the Darth Vader kid? What about the Doritos commercials with the pug bursting down the door? Companies are constantly pumping out new commercials aiming to boost the popularity of their brand/product but are they truly working? Are you becoming more annoyed instead of more interested with seeing the same commercials over and over? Do you think you’ll remember the Beiber vs. Ozzy Best Buy commercial six months down the road? The main question we have to ask ourselves is: Do commercials these days have any depth?

Within the context of advertising, depth applies to ads that make the viewer think past what the ad is straight-forwardly about and look deeper as to what's going on.

Brands seem to be adhering to the "next big thing” concept with their ads; so much so as I want to label these kind of spots as “pop commercials.” These are the commercials that have been pumped out with the main purpose being to generate a shock value or to be the Diddy of advertising. Companies want their spots to be the talk of the town for a day, a week, or a month…Cough Rebecca Black Cough. But sometimes that doesn’t happen because they lack depth. Commercials that have some depth to them will be the ones you will always remember, the ones you save on your YouTube account or the ones you and all your friends talk about.

A great example of a running pop commercial campaign would be the E*Trade baby. The first couple commercials we thought were great and everyone enjoyed watching them. They were commercials about stocks, but we all watched them for the shock value of that talking baby. The ones that I could watch over and over are the one where one baby sings “Broken Wings” while the other baby talks or the two that where about using the iPad and a Smartphone while he is in “solitary confinement.”

After a while, you gotta stop and ask yourself: how many times will this be funny?

I will watch new E*Trade baby commercials just to see what they do next, but if it isn’t the ones I love, I usually end up changing the channel because I’ve already seen it and It was only funny the first 2 times (if that).



Let’s talk about a commercial with some depth now. Old Spice commercials are by far my favorite spots to watch. They are the type of commercials that make you ask yourself, “What the hell did I just watch?” I have seen all of them and I think they are all genius. Old spice commercials make no sense and yet they still deliver the message of their brand and what they're promoting. Every time Old Spice puts out a commercial I feel like I am taking an adventure to Narnia. They are usually funny, so of course I want to share them with my friends or save them on my YouTube account so I will have quick access to them. These commercials are all over the place, making you want to watch them again and again because you weren’t exactly sure what you just watched the first time around; that shows you that the commercial did its job, it grabbed your attention and got you thinking about it well after it’s over.



A campaign that lives in the realm of between pop and depth are Corona ads. Corona commercials are simple and don’t have a lot going on. It’s usually two people on a beach looking at the ocean and then something comical happens; for instance A guy looks at a bunch of hot girl in bikinis playing in the water and then he ends up squirting his lime in his own face because he knows his wife was planning on doing it to him for looking. The most recent one involves two girls sitting on the beach and a bunch of footballs are thrown in front of them. This isn’t hilarious but I chuckled a little because it was still comical and a new twist on the formula. They haven’t changed the formula too much which means that it has been somewhat successful for them. Either way, I know that I will watch a new one at least once.

With companies trying to gain the attention of the people, they seem to be firing out advertisements that are for shock value the majority of the time. They want to be the “Rebecca Black” of the advertising world. Right now, she is everywhere but in a month or two (I’m hoping) everyone will have forgotten about her and her horrible, horrible song.

However, given brands track records, they’ll probably replace her with someone new and even more annoying thus furthering the never ending cycle of pop ads that fit so nicely into this disposable economy.



Last time on the Intern Sweatshop, Fired-Up Over Social Media.

Josh Pelc, Account Executive Intern/A Man Alone With His Thoughts….And A Smartphone #WINNING

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Intern Sweatshop: Fired- Up Over Social Media

Everything that you do promotes the brand “You” whether or not that you are aware of it.

How you dress, the language you use, the ways in which you behave online and the things you post on social media sites all play a part in this self-branding. People today are very quick to post their most intimate feelings, rants, and gripes on Facebook and Twitter.

To me it is just common sense that you shouldn’t put everything out there, because it then becomes available for anyone to read. This of course includes employers.

You’ve probably heard some kind of story of this sort by now: Employee posts something on their Facebook page complaining about their boss or company, and then they get fired. Not the smartest thing to do, right? This issue remains up for debate after a recent federal court case.

Recently, Dawnmarie Souza, who worked at a Connecticut ambulance company, believed she was let go due to her critical comments about her boss that she posted on Facebook. Although, American Medical Response of Connecticut, Inc., claimed they fired her because of grievances about work.

She should have been more aware of how she is perceived via her Facebook page, and familiar with who was reading her posts. Employers might actually need to teach social media awareness because of the ever-fading line of our personal and professional lives.

Feeling she was unjustly fired, Souza contacted the National Labor Relations Board who filed a lawsuit her on the grounds that her comments were protected speech under federal labor laws.

When the dust settled and the unsavory Facebook updates surfaced, the matter was settled for an undisclosed amount. The Connecticut Company’s Internet and blogging policy restricted its workers from making comments about their managers or work, which was changed under the settlement with the labor board.

This case is poised to test new grounds in labor laws and companies setting legal limits on their employee’s social media usage. What exactly should be allowed? How far can free speech protect?

Freedom is speech is a powerful tool, but it can’t save you from everything.

Employers now check social media sites before hiring any employees. People judge others all of the time and a good way to get judged is to have obscene drunk pphotos, complaints, and uncouth comments on your social media site. A person could be a great employee, but still have terrible social media content. People need to get educated about social media usage.

Since this is still such a grey area, I think employers should get their staff to sign a code of conduct, instead of trying to restrict actual postings on social media sites. This case doesn’t give free-reign to writing whatever you wish on social media sites, because there can still be consequences.

If you’re not trying to get fired or go to court over your posts, then you better play it safe and stay away from referring to your boss as “Mr. Myfacesucks” unless that’s his name of course.

The bottom line is millions of people use Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites. There aren’t strict laws yet about what content is allowed on these sites about our places of employment, but this is a step in that direction.

Awareness about how you are perceived is something that is very important to examine in the workplace. Get educated about social media usage, and use some common sense.

Last time at the Intern Sweatshop, Josh Just Checked In At...

Rob Devereux, Account Services Intern/Avoiding Getting Trumped

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Intern Sweatshop: Josh Just Checked-in at...

My friend told me a story the other day of why he deleted his Foursquare from his iPhone and decided he would never use it again. His story made me rethink my own usage of one of the more fun social network games out there and look at the larger issue at play.

My friend had innocently checked in at about a dozen or so places as he had a bunch of stuff to do that day and wanted to see if he could grab any coveted mayoralships. Everything was going fine until he checked-in at lunch for a business meeting and on Foursquare.


Before he finished his meal, about thirty minutes after he checked-in, someone showed up at the restaurant JUST to ask him a question. Confused and slightly worried, he asked, “How did you know I was here?”

The person shrugged and responded with “I checked your Foursquare.” Creepy!

It seems this person was following my friend around all day by using Foursquare to track him down. This person was always one step behind my friend and had driven to each spot my friend checked-in at in hopes of tracking him down and asking him this million dollar question. Super Creepy!

Worse yet, this person had his number and didn’t even try calling him first. At least in Scream the killer would call before he killed you. Was it really that important that you had to stalk him instead of calling him?!?!

This whole ordeal begs the question, is where you are really the smartest thing to advertise on your social networking sites?

We share ourselves all over the Internet with Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Flickr, and all the other social media outlets that are at our disposal and now we have a couple outlets that let people know where we are at all times; the two top outlets being Facebook Places and Foursquare. These applications were explicitly created to allow you to tell your friends where you are, at what time, and who you’re with.

You can check in at bars, restaurants, department stores, highways, etc (Yes, I said highways). With these outlets people can even create check-ins for their homes with their address on it.

Personally, I do not want someone knowing where I live or when I am not at home. I feel like this could lead to some serious stalking or burglary. With these apps you are telling someone “This is where I live and I am not home. So if you want to rob me, go for it.”Or “I am here and I may be here for the next couple hours.”

Ironically, Please Rob Me exists to do just that.



This site was created as a campaign to bring this serious issue and threat to everyone’s attention. They have done a great job spreading awareness of how serious this issue is. But will people really heed their warning? Does the thrill of the hunt of badges and the prospect of gaining 10% off at a yogurt stand through a mayoral incentive outweigh the possible risks?

I used to check-in a lot; to gain “badges”, “mayorship” and the coupons you get with being “the mayor of OMG THIS IS MY FAVORITE BAR” but after hearing this story I’ve definitely made the conscious decision to cut back on my check-ins. I think my safety is more important than digital badges and free food.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe Facebook Places and Foursquare are great ways to expand social media but the people using these new outlets need to be educated more on the dangers that come with using these outlets.

So who is responsible?

Is it the responsibility of these companies to teach users how to use these outlets properly? Should parents, who have no knowledge or understanding of these social networking sites, be the ones to teach their kids? Or should the responsibility fall solely on the person crazy enough to post private information for the world to see?
Some things are private for a reason but if you put your life all over the Internet be prepared to deal with the consequences.


On a related note, these so-called “badges” hold no real value but my shiny Charizard Pokemon card is worth more than all these “badges” combined.




Josh Pelc Account Executive Intern/ Not Justin Beiber (so please stop following me everywhere I go!!!)

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Intern Sweatshop: It's an iWorld and We're Just Living in iT

So by now I’m sure you’ve all heard of the iAd from Apple—the new mobile advertisement network that merges the interactivity of online ads with the emotional elements of television ads, or so Steve Jobs would have us believe.

The way it works is banner ads appear on most free Apple applications. Click on the banner then open up (cue booming voices) “THE iAd EXPERIENCE.” Then you shake, tilt, scroll, and search the “app-vertisement” however you like, just like you interact with many other apps.

The “revolutionary” iAd experience has participating companies paying $1 million to join and others, such as Nissan, up to $10 million for exclusivity. Wouldn’t you love to borrow a couple seeds from their money tree?

But wait, iAds are only available to iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch owners, who total about 85 million users, and only represent a small quantity of the much larger Smartphone population. Furthermore, the selective group of these people who may come across the ad may pass by and possibly (re: probably) not even click. And Apple even offers an alternative for those who want to avoid the ads altogether—purchase the full version of the app.

So with a questionable audience size and ROI, why are these companies even signing up? Well, being associated with one of the most well-established companies doesn’t hurt, for one, and puts youthful Apple eyeballs on your products. It’s also a longer time with the audience than traditional TV advertising. And the caliber of people who own these expensive gadgets, mostly have a sizable amount of disposable income.

My take: That’s a good, specific audience, but a small audience for your $10 million - never mind the question of whether or not people will even click, which makes me think Apple has totally conned businesses into buying into the iAd platform. And they’ll continue to do so. But soon will Google create a competitive alternative for its Droid platform? When will Windows follow suit? Or will they leave it to Apple to rake in all the revenue? If you don’t see these competitors jumping on the wagon, it’ll be because it really isn’t worth the investment.

As an iConsumer, I think these ads are especially annoying. But as an advertising student, I see Apple simply basking in their inenious innovation as they rip off some of our country’s most recognizably wealthy brands. But hey, that’s their fault if they’re not as smart as a 20-year-old college student. Excellent play Steve Jobs. Where do I send my resume?

For more information on the iAd experience: check out the video demonstrations.

--Cristina Burke, Creative Dept. iNtern

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Intern Sweatshop: Friday Ad Haiku: Hot Chocolate for the Soul

At an early point in my musical education, I was introduced to Hot Chocolate’s “I Believe in Miracles (You Sexy Thing),” but I wasn’t really told who the band was until much later in life. All I knew was the song, and it was a great song, a groovy song, a song that could set me off into a fit of giggles.

This is how a 10-year-old (or so) first encountered the unforgettable lyrics, “Now you’re lying next to me, making love to me!”

Trust me, I had no idea what the song was actually about. Now that I look at that mouse, though, he’s surprisingly creepy. Just goes to show that Hot Chocolate is likable, even to a ten-year-old, and even if sung by a funky-looking mouse wearing no pants.

And believe it or not, Hot Chocolate got even better when I encountered a more radically re-contextualized version from Ryan North's cult favorite, Dinosaur Comics.

Click it to big it.

Some things never stop being awesome, even when the presentation keeps changing. So while you enjoy the original song, here’s your Friday Ad Haiku:

Since you came along
I believe in miracles
(Now it’s a haiku).



- Hannah Cheng, Creative Intern

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: The Hoax - Part 2

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Intern Sweatshop: Friday Ad Haiku: Desperate Food

Alright, so we keep our interns busy, but if you had interns as good as ours, you'd put them to work too. Tomorrow, I'm getting my car detailed. So don't judge us. Just enjoy. Now excuse us, it's noon and our interns are taking us out for beers. After all it is Friday. Here's yet another edition of our 938-part series: The Intern Sweatshop.--Captain Awesome.

I think it was during the Atkins diet craze that I saw a bottle of water that had “CARB-FREE!” emblazoned on the side. Staring and smiling, I realized, even at my tender young age, that “____-free!” claims on food items were riding the coattails of popular diets hard. Water, of course, has always been carb-free. Chocolate syrup has always been low-fat, but it only started claiming that fact during the "FAT IS BAD" craze. But the eye-catching starburst catches the twitchy attention of the desperate dieter searching for anything that could wiggle in under his particular food restriction--and voila! A potentially ignored purchase is made.

A more deceptive ploy is the “Made with real _____!” claim. Technically, a smooch of 100% cheese lightly dusted on a thumb and then pressed gently against the advertised cracker validates that claim. The bigger the claim looks on the box, though, the more a Cheez-It sounds like a slice of fresh cheese, and the healthier a loaf of bread "made with whole grain wheat" sounds.

So the moral of this is: food wants to be eaten, regardless of your darn diet--and you will be trapped into eating it.


On that note, Your Friday Ad haiku: A Dieter's Epiphany:

On low-carb diet.
Ugh. Hungry, hungry, hungry—
CHILDREN ARE CARB-FREE!



- Hannah Cheng, Hungry Creative Department Intern

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: The Writer's Hangover

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Intern Sweatshop: Hate Snuggies? Taste the Irony!

This is a public service warning: if you’ve ever made fun of Snuggies—online, over the phone, at your grandmum’s tea party—you’ve been an important part of the Snuggie Revolution.

Your ridicule was the key to the Snuggie’s success. It’s ironic, and it stinks, but it’s true. Your laughter and outrage at the original commercial piqued the interest of others. You were a link in the whole word-of-mouth chain that brought the infection to daytime television.

Sure, you may not be as guilty as Jay Leno, Ellen Degeneres and Jon Stewart, who all dedicated segments of their shows to ridiculing the oversized blanket. Regardless of who’s most at fault—the grassroots haters or the celebrity jokers—Facebook and YouTube are rife with hundreds of fans, anti-fans and parodies of Snuggies. Hundreds who have seen the Snuggie’s original commercial—and have spread the zombie virus of Snuggism.

So now, a lot of people want to buy a Snuggie. My best friend, for one. Her five-aunt-and-uncle extended family, for more.


Why? The Snuggie’s now on par with that silly Halloween costume or that perplexing high fashion outfit. It's cool to be weird! So instead of leaving their backwards bathrobe at home, people have taken the Snuggie to the street for Snuggie pub crawls.

Thanks to the Snuggie’s high demand, its creators have recently released some new sexy prints that featured in the New York Fashion Week.



Soon enough, the Snuggie will come in satin and silk—you know, for those formal/intimate (yes, they’ll be interchangeable) occasions. After all, who doesn’t want to be warm while looking absolutely snazzy?

It won’t stop there; we’ll have leather Snuggies for the tough motorcycle crowds, because they get cold too. And of course: standard cotton Snuggies for the everyday man relaxing on his day off and for the mumsies wanting to kick off all their clothes after caring for their spawn all day.

Let’s not ignore the fact that, if the Snuggie is properly secured with a belt, it could totally be work-appropriate attire. Take a moment to imagine your coworkers shrouded in the loving warmth of Snuggies. Sure, some of them might end up looking like slouches, but others could probably pull off the medieval monk look with pizazz.

Take the Grim Reaper, for example. The hard-working chap cuts quite the dashing figure.



The possibilities of Snuggie expansion are endless. So if you’re really trying to end the tyrannical reign of pants, ridicule the Snuggie some more. The cult will only grow.




Hannah Cheng, Creative Intern

Also from the Snuggie files: Stern drink s big ol' glass of Snuggie Haterade.

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Intern Sweatshop: Friday Ad Haiku

Well, today our intern delivers a haiku on what many of us have had to endure at least once in our lives (or we've lied about it and said we haven't--not while working here of course)--going to work...with a hangover.

Let me get this out right away. I'm not advocating drinking. I'm advocating creativity through drinking. My 21+ year old roommate was tossing in bed when I left this morning--hangover. I knew she had to get up and go to work not long after me, so I set up her hangover-suppression routine: one glass of water next to the bed, a Tylenol on the side, another glass of water at the sink, and the path to the bathroom cleared of toe-jamming obstacles.

I’ve done this whole working with hangover thing once--I worked at Potbelly at the time--so you can understand why I've never done that again. When it comes to writing for a living, though, I can’t help but wonder if Absinthe-chugging writers like Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde wrote their best after a serious hangover. Maybe their drinking was basically brain exfoliation: killing off the old, unproductive brain cells to reveal the gushing geysers of legendary creativity.

While I’ve opted out of testing this hypothesis, I fully support anyone interested in thorough experimentation. The Friday Ad Haiku: The Writer's Hangover

Spare the rod and you’ll
Spoil the brain; so punish it
With late night drinking.

-Hannah Cheng, Good Girl Creative Department Intern

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Spec Work

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Intern Sweatshop: Ambien(t) Lets Me Sleep at Night

Ambient advertising -- ads in unusual places such as manholes, curbs, the sky, and the bottom of golf holes -- calms my conscience. It helps me forget I was once a “culture jammer” who dreamt about graffiti-ing billboards, but now angry moms think I’m brainwashing their kids. I sleep soundly knowing that people still talk about and enjoy advertising thanks to ambient ads.

Some of the best examples take McLuhan’s saying “the medium is the message” to a new level.

Here are a few for your viewing pleasure:

1) Ogilvy & Mather in Thailand

2) Rapp in London

While others make creative, although not entirely relevant, use of existing spaces:

1) Ogilvy & Mather for The Calcutta School of Music

2) BBDO New York

3) JWT London

(Forgive the use of candy-related ads. It’s lunch time.

You can browse more great examples here.)

Although I currently enjoy ambient advertising, my culture-jamming self questions when it will become obsolete. To better understand this process, I have created the Campbell Model of Advertising Interest Levels. This is a historically proven model, created by The Almighty Me, that analyzes emotive and action-based responses to advertising.

(Campbell, Erica. 2009. “What I do when I write blogs.” Renegade. Maryland: Intern Sweatshop.)

Currently, ambient advertising is transitioning between the Enjoyment and Ambivalence phases. It has been around for more than 10 years, so it has effectively passed Intrigue. And it's inching toward Ambivalence thanks to the anti-advertising folks who think it “clogs the cultural environment.” Either way, it's far from the Nothingness stage in which ads become more useful as bird cage liners.

When will ambient advertising become entirely irritating? When talks about mobile marketing began, consumers viewed it as another invasion of privacy. We have yet to see the year of mobile marketing’s booming success, but opt-in, targeted ads and services such as Green Bean seem to side-step the issue of unwelcome cell phone ads. Mobile marketing attempts to mold itself to consumers’ wishes, but I don’t think the same is possible for ambient advertising. You can literally side-step a giant highlighter on a yellow curb, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s in your way.

M. M. McDermott hypothesized that ambient ads will lose their novelty when really bad ambient ads gain prevalence. The innovation will disappear, leaving light switches with Colonel Sander’s face on them for reasons we won’t understand. But I wonder if ambient ads are immune to a lack of creativity, especially because the only ambient ads I’ve seen are clever and innovative. This may solely be because it’s a relatively new idea in non-traditional media, but part of me hopes you need a great idea to create an ambient ad. For example, replacing a Bic razor with a chicken wing on a strip of mowed grass just wouldn’t have the same impact.

I've searched diligently for bad ambient advertising. The icing on the cake? There isn't any! But that doesn't guarantee ambient ads will stay that way nor will I always find them novel. As my model has proven, I won’t know until I pass from Enjoyment to Ambivalence. The sooner companies start paying for bad ambient ads, the sooner the ads (and I) will reach the Nothingness stage. But this is the most creative advertising I've seen in a while, so until Tammy the hologram is greeting me in the mall offering free samples of freesia lotion, I’ll Enjoy.

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Intern Sweatshop: Let's talk about me

Good afternoon bloggytimeuniverse,
I’m the intern who's been picking up some of the slack around here. I've written a few recent entries - you know, the one's you really loved (thanks, AdRants!). Now, for a proper introduction. Here's Me, in the style of Facebook’s “25 Random Things About Me” mixed with the icebreaker 2 Truths and a Lie.



1. I lived in England last year.

2. I’m an atheist attending a Jesuit college.
3. I’m a terrible driver and have caused 3 car accidents.
4. I’m an Irish step dancer.
5. I can breakdance.
6. I don’t want to get married.
7. My OB/GYN gave me his son’s phone number.
8. I gave up watching TV for a year.
9. I have 2 tattoos.
10. I can play the electric piano quite well.

There are 7 truths and 3 lies. Can you guess which is which?

Yours,

Erica Campbell, Nice-to-Meet-You Intern

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Intern Sweatshop: We'll Wish You a Morbid Christmas & a Scanty New Year

Credit Crunch Christmas Cards have become a bestseller in the UK this season by wishing everyone a “Great Depression” and a “Hungry New Year.” Andrew Shaffer designed a line of holiday cards with Depression-era pictures in an effort to poke fun at the financial crisis we’re facing today.

The photographs include a woman burning presents to keep warm, two children excited to eat a squirrel instead of a rat for their holiday dinner, men only able to afford soup, having to stand in a bread line, and selling children for money. Shaffer explains, "I wanted to contrast today's financial crisis with the Great Depression to show that things are not as bad as people believe."

These cards have become an instant sensation, which goes to show that laughter may be the best remedy for getting through these harder times. So go ahead and order your own at www.depressingtimes.com today. I’ll be sure to send my family and friends holiday cards that tell them to “Hold onto their hats, the worst is yet to come”…I’ll just need to sell my left big toe on the black market to pay for the shipping.

--Heather Knapp, Creative Dept. Intern

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Intern Sweatshop: Friday Ad Haiku: Thanksgiving

RUN! SPONGEBOB'S GOT THAT CRAZED LOOK IN HIS EYE!


Having run the cider spigot of haikus dry, we're punting again to our intern this week. Heather, take it away!

Thanksgiving fever is contagious! From great sales at malls to tramplings at Wal-Mart, from football games to cozy autumn food, and from apple cider to...spiked apple cider. It’s hard not to catch it. With a three-day work week, followed by an extended weekend, and enough food to keep you full for days, it’s easily one of the most popular American holidays. This is sadly, completely overshadowing the actual history behind the “holiday” and what truly went down between those pilgrims and Native Americans. But no need to rain on the Macy's Day Parade. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

For Your Friday Ad Haiku Pleasure: Thanksgiving

Turkey, stuffing, pie
Macy’s Day Parade, football!
Enjoy two days off!

--Heather Knapp, Creative Dept. Intern

Last week on the Friday 5-7-5: The Ideal Consumer

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The Intern Sweatshop: No Gold Medal For the Golden Arches

Olympics advertising is perhaps even more cutthroat than the annual media circus that is Super Bowl commercials. Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou got a reported $300 million to organize the Opening Ceremonies , and if you saw, they pulled out all the stops. Don’t worry, there haven’t been any wardrobe malfunctions (yet).

But when the Games aren’t on, it’s when commercials use the Olympic spirit to sell cameras, phones, and Oreos. Intercut with shots of the world’s finest competitors, either running the track or pole vaulting or back stroking. That’s all fine; I love me some doublestuffs, and it makes me kind of proud to buy something for the betterment of the world.

But then McDonald’s pulls the big one:


Right. Because no Olympic athlete’s diet is complete without a Big Mac and fries. I’m guessing Morgan Spurlock is going to try out for the decathlon in London ’12?

Of course, with the grueling training sessions these athletes endure, it’s likely they need orgasmic amounts of calorie intake, and a value meal will put over a thousand of those suckers in you right quick. For example, according to several sources Michael Phelps takes in nearly 12,000 calories a day. Do they all need to be deep-fried or sugar-laced though?

If that isn’t enough, the Beijing 2008 website also lists Snickers and Budweiser as commercial partners. You know, so the athletes are covered for their pregame sugar boosts and postgame “R&R,” respectively. Of course, that must be why.

Oh well, McDonald’s being the worldwide institution it is, would definitely not be absent from the Games. However, they are showing all the Olympians enjoying their Big Macs together, like kids in the school cafeteria. Well, let’s just hope one of them brought a healthy yogurt or bean sprout sandwich to trade.

In the end, I understand that’s smart advertising. 39.5 million viewers tuned-in to watch Michael Phelps swimming the 200-meter butterfly last Tuesday, and 39.9 million watched Phelps win his eighth gold medal in the men's 4X100 meter medley relay Saturday night. And that may not even include the many who watched on the Times Square Jumotron and the more than 70,000 (ed. note: Minus 55,000, give or take. But who's counting, right?) who watched from M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, Md., Phelp's home town.

But it still puts a bad taste in my mouth (pun intended, have you eaten at McDonald’s recently). Then again, I’m not sprinting the 400 meter individual medley after wolfing down a Quarter Pounder. If you’re feeling the irony as well, wash it down with this Coca Cola ad. Yes, it’s still selling a product through the Olympics, but at least this ad makes an effort to promote cultural understanding and not world-class athletes hawking burgers or chicken sandwiches with 1000+ mg of sodium…and pickles.

--Aditya Desai, Intern

Previously fabricated under duress in the Intern Sweatshop: Missile FAIL.

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From the Intern Sweatshop: Missle Fail.

Say cheese, missile! Recently, Iran claimed to have test fired seven missiles as part of its “Operation: Big Scary Weapons” program, releasing a photo of four of the missiles blasting off into the deep blue Persian sky.

But wait! Apparently that’s one missile too many. Agence France-Presse got their paws on the picture from Sepah News, a website belonging to the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, showing four missiles, while the Associated Press had one with only three. Something’s not kosher here, Iran.

The photos had been digitally altered. Two of the missiles appear to have identical smoke trails. It seems Iran has been developing their Photoshop skills alongside beefing up their weapons.

Immediately, as it tends to do on the "Internets," more experienced photoshoppers flooded cyberspace with their own remixes of the photo, featuring everything from various Star Wars characters, looney tunes, the infamous LOLcats, and my personal favorite, Slim Pickens riding the bomb from Dr. Strangelove.

Iran has not yet made any official word on the photo. The photo on Sepah was inexplicably replaced with the three missile version. There are noticeable differences. That truck, for example. How did that turn into a missile? Maybe it’s a Transformer.

It leads one to think, is Iran so desperate to make world headlines that they resort to the same tactics as the supermarket tabloids? Is Batboy their doomsday device? Has President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad been airbrushed in any pics?

The media is not unfamiliar with spotting altered photos. There’s some changes made in almost everything nowadays, from alien sightings, to movie posters, to my personal collection of Victoria’s Secret catalogs (I’m shopping for my girlfriend’s birthday, I swear).

It is only more salt on some humiliating wounds. While a nuclear threat is something to be wary of, it’s hard to take serious when Iran’s President claims the Holocaust didn’t happen and that nuclear weapons are a “peaceful” policy for a country whose main religion is against it.

Tsk, tsk. Changing photos to make your babies look better? Don’t worry, Mr. Ahmadinejad, I’m sure Hugh Hefner can identify.

--Aditya Desai, Intern

Last time on the Intern Happy Funtime Candy Factory: American Automakers Pas Gas

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Intern Sweatshop: This summer, Robert Downey Jr. IS Tony Stark in...The Incredible Hulk?

This nod-slash-wink to comic book fans across the globe is one of many steps Marvel is making in their movies to bring all their big-screen characters together into the same movie universe, much as it is in the books. It’s the promise of a very, at the least, interesting movie-going future.

Most people who stayed through the end credits of Iron Man were rewarded with this scene featuring the holy badass himself, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury:

And Monday, the comic-movie powers that be released a new Hulk TV spot featuring Downey as Tony Stark making some shady deals with William Hurt.

This all adds up to one hell of a marketing strategy. So far, Iron Man sits as the reigning box office champion of 2008. With the introduction of Nick Fury, Marvel introduced another character, one that does not have his own film, but possibly may in the future. Downey has also been relaunched as a major leading man with bankability. His presence in The Incredible Hulk only solidifies the movie as being a Marvel brand title. The first Hulk film, directed by Ang Lee and released in 2003, had a less than spectacular performance at the box office or with fans. It was the same story with Daredevil, Ghost Rider, and The Punisher; all coming from different studios and different producers with varying views on the material.

Iron Man was the first movie to be directly produced by Marvel, as are all other adaptations set for the future, meaning Marvel exercises total creative control over the content, unlike before, when studios snatched rights to keep titles to themselves. This is the reason why we never got to see Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman fight evil-doers side by side with Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine. Different studios means “hands off!” in Hollywood.

By bringing all of their heroes under their creative control, the films can have stronger continuity between one another, ensuring audiences, “keep your butts in your seats!” The writers, directors, and stars may change, but coming from the same people who hold the source material so near and dear insures a sort of quality control. The idea is to put on the screen what has been in the books for years--the heroes fighting side by side on one cinematic canvas.

DC, that other comic publisher, has been poised to make this kind of move for years. All of their major characters, including Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are copyrighted to Warner Brothers. No red tape there. But Marvel got to it first.

It is quite a feat as well for Marvel as a company, moving ahead into the movie business full steam ahead. Authors have trouble retaining any control over movies based on their books once the rights are signed over. Marvel however is an entity, a name that stands for superheroes and all the cultural fanboy-ism behind it. So I’ll give Marvel a pass on a Ghost Rider. Finally, they’re beginning to get it right.

--Aditya Desai, Intern

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From the Intern Sweatshop: Britney, The Atlantic and "Your Mother"

Once again, we tossed a laptop down into the dungeon we lock our interns in, and this is what they threw back. Apparently, they also snuck a television and a magazine subscription in there as well. Maybe it's time we fine-tuned our security or perhaps stopped letting other interns guard the door. Anyway, once again, From the Intern Sweatshop...
--The Cap'n

After months of horrible publicity, Britney Spears may actually be taking a positive turn. Her normal tabloid cover page has been abandoned for a more tasteful approach, an intellectual magazine and a television sitcom.

Britney appeared on the Monday March 24th episode of How I Met Your Mother as Abby, a dermatologist’s receptionist with an unlucky crush on the main character, Ted. Viewers gave a surprising 85 percent rating to the episode, according to Yahoo! TV. Apparently the quality of the show was slightly better than Spears’ Video Music Awards performance in September.

The Atlantic magazine has also taken a liking to Spears, hence her appearance on their April cover.

Why would an intellectual magazine like The Atlantic put Britney--a faded diva who's in and out of rehab, doesn't quite understand the utility of underpants, and mothers her children the same way a three year old mothers the poor family cat--on the cover of their next issue, you ask? The same reason CBS put her in a television episode: to help Britt save some face; that, and The Atlantic is desperate for sales.

It’s scary that people have focused so much attention on celebrity life. Sometimes I talk to my friends about the most recent episode of One Tree Hill as if I know the characters. “Did you see what Lindsey did last night to Lucas? I couldn’t believe she left him!” Apparently, the entertainment industries have been numbed by the same epidemic: forget the news, forget the world, and focus on celebrity drama.

The entertainment masses seem to be confused lately, so I’ll make it clear: people buy tabloids to hear gossip, and people buy The Atlantic to read the latest news on why Obama should be president. People don’t buy The Atlantic to sprawl out on their couch with chips and laugh about the misfortunes of the rich and famous. But many do turn on the television to numb themselves to the world and catch up on celebrity drama. So a television comedy might be exactly what people want to see from Spears. That and, of course, the newest drama over the custody of her children or the most recent baring of her “soul” as she gets out of a car.

--Megan Stewart, Intern

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Coal in your crawl and the Intern Sweatshop churns out a new one

From Producer Noah, our lovable plant-murdering, bongo-beating, Orlando Bloom stunt double on the other side of the building: a great spoof on the "benefits" of coal power.



The lung cancer lets you know it's working!

and...

Threatened with bodily harm and tattle-taling to her college advisor, Intern Julie has no choice but to submit to the whims of the Intern Sweatshop:

A Niche Fido Won’t Itch

With the U.S. bottled water industry swimming in yearly revenues of more than $10.8 billion, there is clearly a demand for the purified potion. Consumers have found themselves turning off their faucets and turning up their noses to the thought of drinking tap water.

Companies like Pepsi and Glaceau are diving into this trend by flooding the market with enhanced, vitamin infused, flavored water, so they can ride this bottled water wave for as long as possible.

Marketers are grabbing stars like 50 cent to pimp their products as spokesmen. Even supermodel, Naomi Campbell, has taken a break from giving her housekeepers a few light slams and appeared in a SoBe Life Water commercial. She teamed with a choreographed squad of lizards and danced to Michael Jackson’s Thriller in an ad that appeared during the much-anticipated commercial breaks for 2008 Super Bowl.
Even though some of these enhanced waters are pumped with sugar and calories, consumers are still drinking it up. I even found myself buying a bottle of the pomegranate-spiked stuff, thinking all those additional “nutrients” would somehow cure my Saturday morning hangover.

This H2O craze is spilling over into the pet market, targeting those four-legged mutts who typically rely on the toilet bowl for their hydration fix. Last month, Cott Corp., in its attempt to be the first to get into this niche, introduced Fortifido-bottled water in flavors like parsley and peanut butter. Will Fido really prefer the manufactured nutty taste over his own—and can we really trust the palate of an animal that regularly has its head buried in its backside?

Just what makes marketers think dogs, who turn tricks for pig ears and marrow bones, will lap up the minty refreshment just as their owners do with Vitamin Water? From the perspective of a college kid whose been taught that history repeats itself, I’m skeptical; flavored pooch water didn’t work in 1994 with Thirsty Dog! water, and it probably won’t make too many tails wag today. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if this new water follows its predecessor down the drain.


Julie Leitch, Intern

Previously extracted from the Intern Sweatshop: Starbucks takes a coffee break.

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Intern Sweatshop: A New Series

One of the great things about working at a mid-size agency: you get the opportunity to stick your hands in the guts pail of sundry tasks and duties; job titles are more like suggestions than pay grades. I rather like that. Only downside is these duties sometimes eat into my non-billable tasks such as throwing prima donna temper tantrums, stealing editors' food from the kitchen, and, most importantly, the sweet release of blogging. It's a busy time around the shop as of late and, seeing as how I can only expect the Cap'n to post so many ad blogs about shots to the groin and pooping snowmen, we're going to open up a new series 'round these parts.

Submitted for your approval, the first in a series of blogs from our agency's favorite renewable source of semi-forced free labor, the intern pool. --ed.

The Starbucks Shutdown
National companies thrive on television advertisements as a way to pound their ideas into the minds of consumers. Up until recently, Starbucks hasn’t followed this mantra. Somehow, it still manages to maintain a healthy caffeinated cult. But on February 26th those who worship at the altar of the almighty non-fat frappe were forsaken. For three hours anyway. Starbucks closed its 7,100 doors for a “coffee break” to retrain unenthusiastic baristas. Americans had a caffeine meltdown. The news was posted nationally across the U.S. in papers, on the internet, and on television, inadvertently giving Starbucks what they are known for not doing: advertising.

What happened to Dunkin Donuts, or reasonably priced 7-Eleven for coffee, or any other advertising coffee joint?

Well, Dunkin Donuts got wind of the “coffee break” and made a pitch to win over Starbuckees by giving out free coffee; they needed to. It was an attempt to save some face. Perhaps we can distract you with our new foam-filled latte. We even made it somewhat expensive and tiny, although not up to par with the normal four-dollar tall Starbucks latte. Maybe a box of munchkins will make up for a three-hour caffeine-induced headache.

Americans need Starbucks coffee like they need cigarettes or Britney Spears in tabloids drinking Starbucks while smoking cigarettes. Dunkin Donuts can probably give up hope to win over Starbuckees. Overly-priced coffee is what the world wants, not Milky Way hot chocolate. Sorry, guys.

Megan Stewart, Intern

Related: Micky D's skims latte lovers from Fourbucks.

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