Olympic Logo FAIL

Unlike the good Cap'n, I'm not ready to get all hari-kari up in here now that the Olympics are over. Truth be told, I'm glad it's done. The act of kicking a foreigner's ass at random sports in the name of national supremacy has really lost its luster over the decades. Where's the soul? Pure, determined...and un-narrated by Bob Costas? It's all advertising now. Just a bunch of well-muscled coporate logos sprinting and jumping and swimming about.

Speaking of logos, WTF is up with the logo for the Olympics across the pond in '12? A design group billed £400,00 to come up with this? That's, like, 3 trillion dollars in American money, or something, right?It looks like a first-grader tried to fingerpaint the KISS logo. Punk Points for those calling foul on this one; and a triple-word score for our pals over at WAS who converted complaints into action, sponsoring an online open mic night for new logo designs. Even I submitted one (below), though admittedly, it's more ad than logo (and more awful than good).The mindset behind it was simple. Understatement. Seemed to mesh with the archetypal (maybe stereotypical) Brit: detached, unimpressed, and exceedingly non-plussed, with just a bit of irony for flavoring. I always think of the Monty Python line delivered by the knight who's just had two arms hacked off in battle, "It's just a flesh wound." So, there it is. Olympic rings, tea, and two minutes with Photoshop.

Carry on, mates...we only have to look at the London Olympics logo for 1500+ more days.

In logo-related news: Starbucks logo roasted for showing its naughty bits.

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The Olympics Are Over: I'm Depressed

This complaint is somewhat related to advertising, but moreso to television. Anyway, the close of the Olympics has me depressed because:

1) The Olympics are fun. I've played at least three sports a years since I was nine, so I could watch almost any sport--withstanding anything labeled "synchronized _____" and "ice dancing." (It's not that I hate figure skating. It's just that after 214 hours of triple axles and triple lutzes, the last thing I want to see is a guy in skin tight lycra prancing around on his toe pick for another three.)

2) They only come every two years (winter Olympics in Vancouver, February 2010 baby)!

3) For the past two week I knew I'd have something to watch when I turned on the TV. Swimming, gymnastics, soccer, diving, men's volleyball, women's volleyball, beach vollyeball, water polo, team handball, track & field. (Although somehow I missed the entire decathalon and heptathalon, but I guess that's what they get for using the metric system. Does anyone get that?)

4) But what depressed me most were NBC's commercials for what will be airing this fall to replace the programming I've been enjoying for the past two weeks, because they only showed those commercials about a thousand times: America's Toughest Jobs, Crusoe, Knight Rider, Chuck, Lipstick Jungle, Heroes, My Own Worst Enemy, Celebrity Apprentice, Deal or New Deal, The Biggest Loser and worst of all:

Sunday, Bob Costas should've signed off with, "Hoped you like the Olympics, America, now you can go back to watching crap."

Unfortunately, NBC can't air Earl, The Office, 30 Rock and Life 24 hours a day. The real biggest losers--people without cable. At least we get football in two weeks, excluding NBC of course, who has the worst NFL coverage of any network, including the crack technical team at we'll get you that crucial replay in two minutes-CBS. Remember "Must See TV?" I don't either.

--Captain Awesome, Copywriter

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The Intern Sweatshop: No Gold Medal For the Golden Arches

Olympics advertising is perhaps even more cutthroat than the annual media circus that is Super Bowl commercials. Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou got a reported $300 million to organize the Opening Ceremonies , and if you saw, they pulled out all the stops. Don’t worry, there haven’t been any wardrobe malfunctions (yet).

But when the Games aren’t on, it’s when commercials use the Olympic spirit to sell cameras, phones, and Oreos. Intercut with shots of the world’s finest competitors, either running the track or pole vaulting or back stroking. That’s all fine; I love me some doublestuffs, and it makes me kind of proud to buy something for the betterment of the world.

But then McDonald’s pulls the big one:


Right. Because no Olympic athlete’s diet is complete without a Big Mac and fries. I’m guessing Morgan Spurlock is going to try out for the decathlon in London ’12?

Of course, with the grueling training sessions these athletes endure, it’s likely they need orgasmic amounts of calorie intake, and a value meal will put over a thousand of those suckers in you right quick. For example, according to several sources Michael Phelps takes in nearly 12,000 calories a day. Do they all need to be deep-fried or sugar-laced though?

If that isn’t enough, the Beijing 2008 website also lists Snickers and Budweiser as commercial partners. You know, so the athletes are covered for their pregame sugar boosts and postgame “R&R,” respectively. Of course, that must be why.

Oh well, McDonald’s being the worldwide institution it is, would definitely not be absent from the Games. However, they are showing all the Olympians enjoying their Big Macs together, like kids in the school cafeteria. Well, let’s just hope one of them brought a healthy yogurt or bean sprout sandwich to trade.

In the end, I understand that’s smart advertising. 39.5 million viewers tuned-in to watch Michael Phelps swimming the 200-meter butterfly last Tuesday, and 39.9 million watched Phelps win his eighth gold medal in the men's 4X100 meter medley relay Saturday night. And that may not even include the many who watched on the Times Square Jumotron and the more than 70,000 (ed. note: Minus 55,000, give or take. But who's counting, right?) who watched from M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, Md., Phelp's home town.

But it still puts a bad taste in my mouth (pun intended, have you eaten at McDonald’s recently). Then again, I’m not sprinting the 400 meter individual medley after wolfing down a Quarter Pounder. If you’re feeling the irony as well, wash it down with this Coca Cola ad. Yes, it’s still selling a product through the Olympics, but at least this ad makes an effort to promote cultural understanding and not world-class athletes hawking burgers or chicken sandwiches with 1000+ mg of sodium…and pickles.

--Aditya Desai, Intern

Previously fabricated under duress in the Intern Sweatshop: Missile FAIL.

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