Showing posts with label matt mcdermott. Show all posts
Showing posts with label matt mcdermott. Show all posts

27 January, 2011

This is my stop.



I hate goodbyes. They're self-indulgent. They drip with sentimentality. But more than anything, they're hard. So I'm not going to make this a big deal. Tomorrow's my last day at Renegade and the Agency Confessional.

When we started the Agency Confessional in '07, we were just looking for ways to make our timesheets look like we were working. But it turned into something bigger for us. A unique voice for the agency. Or at least, the creative department anyway. Entertaining. Irreverent. And, hopefully, something to get people in the ad industry thinking, while not talking down to those who couldn't tell David Ogilvy from David Hasselhoff. Hint: one's alive, and one used to drive a really sweet black Thunderbird.

Well, the Confessional will live on. In fact, it'll have a new home on Renegade's redesigned agency site very soon. That's right, the Confessional's company-sanctioned now. It took a few blog awards from the Baltimore Sun and a ranking in the Ad Age Power 150, but it's finally bona-fide. And we think you're going to like where it's going.

I leave the Confessional in the very capable, and sometimes donut-powdered - hands of co-editor George Convery. Though I suppose you can't really leave something you never owned; it's always been a consortium of personalities. Kind of like a creative socialism inspired by Richard Marx instead of Karl Marx. But whatever.

So onward, friends. It's been a great ride. Thanks for taking it with me. But this is where I get off.

M.M. McDermott

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20 February, 2008

Tales from the Spam Filter: Sigh, want some drugs?

What, no more Viagra poetry or sweet euphamisms? No mention of "Angry Pants Sticks" or "Love Pencils"? Spamming Zombie Email Account (from an FAA-contracted aircraft parts manufactuer!), you disappoint me. You're not even trying anymore.

Hon, I'm from Baltimore. I bet I know more places to buy drugs than you do.



Previously in Tales from the Spam Filter: Neil Armstrong takes one giant leap for male enhancement.


M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/I got G-Packs, yo.

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15 February, 2008

Friday Ad Haiku: The Account Executive



Remember to smile.
Give 'em the ol' shuck and jive.
You have people skills.

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Office Decor

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04 February, 2008

How's about you gimme a real breakfast, and I don't shoot you in the face.

Tony "Paulie Walnuts" Sirico don't take no mouth from no freakin' counter chump.



So many things right about this. A tough, simple character talkin' straight about breakfast. I dig the direction Denny's is taking with this. One hell of a pitchman they landed. Plus, he was the only guy willing to work for a U-Haul full of silk ties and phone cards.

Note to Dunkin' Donuts' early 90's Sirico ad: Thanks for playing.


Related: Audi marketing exec makes you an offer you can't understand.


M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Consigliare

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01 February, 2008

Friday Ad Haiku: The Super Bowl Spot

I hear there might even be a real football game in between commercials this year. Over/Under on the number of times the announcers compare Eli to Peyton? Tom Brady to God?


2 Mil for an ad?
Just run on the field nude with
Logos on your ass.

Now accepting haikus and prop bets.
Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Art Directors


"Tom celebrated his first Super Bowl win as he did every win that year: by playing his first-generation Nintendo Game Boy."

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21 January, 2008

ATM Ads Make Me Feel Sorry for People Who Work Inside ATMs

They've been out there for a while, but I couldn't help but relive the simple genius. Plus, it made me realize how good I've got it, sprawled out on the the agency couch, typing ridiculous headlines for an outdoor piece.

I wonder what they came up with for the tampon dispenser?

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18 January, 2008

Friday Ad Haiku: Guinness

What better way to foreshadow the weekend than by dedicating the Friday 5-7-5 to the product that will factor most heavily into its success. Slainte!




I don't over-drink.
I channel my ancestors
with dirty, black pints.





Your turn: Haiku shout out for the stout from old St. James Gate...

Previous Friday Ad Haiku: Photoshop.






M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Secret Member of the 1759 Society

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11 January, 2008

Friday Ad Haiku: Adobe Photoshop

I'm feeling pretty free and airy today. Like a summer's eve. I'm feeling like a 5-7-5 for one of the best tools in the ad shed:

Making it shiny.
Smoothing away the ugly.
Make us pretty, please.

(and oldie but goody from Jezebel)


Feel free to add your own Photoshop haiku.

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copyguy/Photoshop Disciple

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07 January, 2008

Eat at Joe's: Redux

I thought the whole idea of post-modern was to break down the BS filter and connect with audiences candidly—if not irreverently. The ads for the Jackson House in Harrisburg just miss.

It's not a total pan. The gritty design is pretty effective. They serve good food without a lot of pomp and circumstance. I get it. But the copy’s a bit heavy handed. Tries too hard. Like that guy at the indie record shop—you know the type: the snide emo kid in the salvaged Member’s Only jacket and corduroys who rolls his eyes when you ask if they carry a CD from a band who isn’t currently living in their mothers’ basements.

Thematically, the writing taps into something good, something right. But in the end, it gets tripped up in its love affair with itself. Feels like the copy guy couldn’t quite bring himself to drag a few of his babies out to the woodshed. We’re all guilty of that, though. That said, maybe it’s not a complete miss. Take the middle sentence out of the copy, and it’s a pretty damn good ad. I’m going to rule this one an infield single.

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Hypocrite Emeritus

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21 August, 2007

Marketing Mike Vick's Misery

OK. My wife and I have been accused of being a little eccentric because of the number of animals we keep (two dogs, six cats, and a pond full of koi). We collect pets the way Bill Paxton’s character on “Big Love” collects wives. We’re Polanimalists. That being said, I’ll spare everyone my own personal diatribe on everything that’s wrong and disgusting about the dog fighting incident and about Michael Vick as a human being.

I will however give mad (rabid, even) props out to the people who’ve found a way to make a difference—or in some cases, make a dime—off of the guy’s stupidity. The beauty of America is its marketing spirit, and our natural ability to turn terrible circumstances into causes célébres and cash-a-plenty. Simply take a look at how many American flags Wal-Mart sold on September 11, 2001 compared with the same date a year earlier (for those keeping score at home, it was 116,000 units to 6,400 units, respectively). They made money, and people were able to display their support of their country. That’s the win-win of Patriotic Consumerism.

So when I saw the Mike Vick chew toy, I was ecstatic. Like it or not, you’ve got to give the four budding entrepreneurs who started the venture some punk points for inventiveness. Their product is molded, vulcanized rubber irony, guaranteed to stand up to even the toughest pooch. Now, whether they actually follow through on their website’s promise to share a portion of the profits with organizations dedicated to animal welfare, is another story. But they’re back-ordered, and that means business is good. Even better, Vick isn’t making a penny from it. Until he eventually sues their pants off.

PETA’s in on the action, too. Vick’s dog fighting charges—and plea bargain—are exactly what they needed to raise real awareness about the atrocities that take place in dingy urban basements, abandoned warehouses, and back-road trailer parks across America. The number of tips they’ve received has jumped since they rallied their efforts around condemning his actions. He’s the ultimate boogeyman, like the lurking burglar in ADT spots or the slippery floor that no elderly person can escape from in Life Alert ads. He’s the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to the animal rights cause in recent memory.

Who knows. Maybe Vick will even figure out a way to market his own mistakes. Think about it. Once he’s out of the pokey, he’ll no doubt be any network interviewer’s first round pick for easy ratings.

“Tell us how you’ve changed, Mike.”
“What made you do it, Mike?”
“Is that an Armani suit, Mike?”
“Who do you think will win the AFC, Mike?”

He’ll be on TV in no time. Then, perhaps a book. An acting gig. Hey, maybe even parlay his infamous persona into a professional wrestling career. In some way, he’ll find a way to get paid. And that, too, is what business in America is all about.

Marketing goes both ways, benefiting the good guys and the bad guys alike. Like the light and dark side of the Force or Andy Dick. It’s a just little tough to tell which is which, sometimes. As a pet owner, I feel pretty good that something positive will come out of this mess. As an ad guy watching people make money and promote their causes at Vick’s expense, I feel even better.

--M.M. McDermott, Senior Copywriter






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06 August, 2007

Sticking It to Barry Bonds...for Fun and Profit

So Barry Bonds hit homerun number 755 this past weekend, tying Hammerin’ Hank Aaron’s career record; with it, our collective karma no doubt swirled a bit closer to the hole in the cosmic toilet bowl. But as much as I’d love to devote a post to flaming the guy, this is an ad blog, and I’m getting paid the big bucks to come up with groundbreaking, industry-relevant material. Plus, I see the potential for someone other than Mr. Bonds to benefit from it.

See, Barry breaking the record may be bad for baseball, but it could be gold for your brand.

With the exception of the friendly confines of San Fran, Bonds is generally loathed throughout the sports world. Whether it’s his personality, his apparent disregard for the integrity of the game of baseball, or the ‘roids debacle, he’s worked hard to be hated. When he breaks that record, though, a perfect storm of emotions will converge around one little, white ball. It will become the Holy Grail of baseball, a symbol of what’s right and wrong with game. From the moment the lucky fan gloves it, the possibility for an adventuresome business to build its brand (at a bargain price) begins.

Let’s talk numbers. The ball Bonds hit for his 73rd homerun of the season in 2001 (the MLB record) sold for over $500K in 2003. Nice chunk of change at the time. But as steroid allegations built up a frothy head in the court of public opinion, sentiment quickly turned. A telling indicator: Bonds’ 70th homerun ball from that season (tying the previous HR record held by Mark McGwire) recently fetched a meager $14K. Analysts predict Bonds’ 756th homerun ball could get as much as $750K, but that number could fluctuate wildly based on an assortment of variables (including whether or not he is indicted for perjury).

In the ad world, large companies don’t flinch at the prospect of doling out ¾ of a million bucks for a brand campaign. Herein lies the possibility for an edgy company to define its image on the cheap simply by making a bold move. Here’s my two-step approach to adding value to your brand with the help of Mr. Bonds.

Step One: Buy the ball. Immediately.
The mere publicity of purchasing the ball is enough to get your company on the front-page (bottom fold) of papers across the country. The sooner, the better. Don’t let the electricity surrounding the record dissipate before you make your move. Overpay if you have to.

Step Two: Do something spectacular with it.
Here’s where the fun begins. Your goal is to milk it for all its worth. There are a number of roads you can travel down, depending on the image you want to project to your consumers. Some ideas:

The Altruistic Approach: Bonds has already announced that, even if he were able to obtain the ball, he won’t give it to the Hall of Fame. To baseball purists, that’s despicable. That ball is an historical artifact and deserves to be in the one place dedicated to celebrating the history of the game. Announce that you’re donating the ball to the Hall. Fans and non-fans alike will respect the gesture. It’s a commercial world where very little is sacred, and any time a company transcends the muck and the mire of it all, it’s noteworthy.

The Interactive Approach: Give it away. Seriously. Have a contest and advertise the hell out of it. Along the same lines as the Doritos Super Bowl Ad campaign, challenge consumers to create a commercial for your product with a thematic tie-in to the ball. Let people across the country vote for their favorite commercial, and give the ball to the lucky winner. It’d be an unprecedented undertaking. Anyone can raffle off a car or a house. But it takes a special company to give away history. Added bonus: everyone who registers for the contest (or the opportunity to vote) provides useful consumer information (buying habits, contact information, demographic stats, etc.).

The Democratic Approach: Create an online poll, and let folks vote to determine what you should do with the ball. Again, consumers register for the right to vote, and in doing so, provide useful information about themselves. Give each registrant a coupon or some other incentive for participating. Perhaps trial samples of “The Clear”.

The Tie-In Approach: Connect the ball with your unique selling proposition. If you’re Fed-Ex, promote the reliability of your service by having the ball delivered all over the world (safe, sound and on time). You’re Brinks? Drop the ball in one of your fire-proof safes, stick it it in a furnace, and film the demonstration. How about Black & Decker? Use the ball to demonstrate the sharpness and precision of your new table saw. Then mail it to Barry Bonds. COD.

Ultimately, the opportunities to give your brand the unfair advantage over the competition are endless. You just have to be willing to take the chance. In his own strange way, Barry would be proud of that.

--M.M. McDermott, Senior Copywriter

EDIT: Bonds hit his 756th homerun on 7 August 2007. Four Horsemen charged the field in celebration as a horde of locusts cleaned out the concession stands.

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09 July, 2007

The Winter of Chivas's Web-Content


Poet George Santayana said it best: Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

In 1812, Napoleon’s Grande Armee’ invaded Russia with 610,000 troops—in the middle of winter. Within a year, he lost 85% of his men to starvation, disease, and desertion. Fast forward to 1941; in the thick of World War II, the German army makes a move on Moscow with temps already plummeting to -30ºF in an attempt to do what the French were unable to. Result: over 730,000 casualties on the German side.

And then, there’s BudTV.com. Launched in 2006, the online TV channel sponsored by Anheuser-Busch featured branded content, games, original entertainment, longer form commercials, and a potpourri of humorous vignettes. Despite the big expectations, it lost over 100K visitors within its first month and is expected to get the yank by the end of the year.

Now, for the big SAT analogy: The French army in Russia is to BudTV.com as the German army in Russia is to_________.

If you said the Chivas channel, you obviously weren’t in any of my classes at the Junior College of Ceramic Arts and Automobile Sciences. Apparently whiskey brand Chivas isn’t too concerned with history. They’re moving full-speed ahead with their new branded online network dedicated to livin’ large: sailin’ boats, travelin’ abroad, smokin’ see-gars, and drinkin’ scotch. Because, as we all know, the masses want to watch rich people enjoying themselves, right?

Don’t worry, folks. Some seem to think Chivas has a plan to bring in more visitors and avoid the fate that befell Anheuser “Moscow’s balmy in January” Busch. Based on their “state of the art” age verification system, they’ve all but opened their site to an untapped market: underage visitors. If you’re old enough to outsmart a pull-down menu, you’re old enough to live it up online with Chivas:




While not Fort Knox by any stretch, BudTV at least gave it the old college try in its efforts to deter minors, utilizing software that required info directly from an ID.

In my opinion, Chivas’s relaxed age verification system is of little consequence, though. Honestly, how many kids are going to be clamoring to watch videos that range from learning the bagpipes to enjoying foreign cuisine? Hell, I’m 30 and I’d rather mow my neighbor’s lawn than watch video of an investment banker sunning himself on a pontoon boat off the coast of Morocco.
Minors or not, the Chivas channel has an uphill climb; its online features are geared to a narrow demographic: the young and affluent. BudTV’s content appealed to a much wider audience, and still couldn’t bring in the numbers it needed to stay afloat. At least, that’s what I’ve heard, anyway; I never did get around to visiting it.

-M.M. McDermott, Senior Copywriter

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29 June, 2007

M.M. McDermott, Creative Director




Let’s get one thing straight here. Just because Matt McDermott was born and raised in Baltimore does not mean he eats steamed crabs and drinks National Bohemian beer all day long.

Ok. Yes it does. Matt McDermott is a stereotype of all things Baltimore and would find few greater joys in life than the Orioles one day playing .500 baseball. A published author, ex-Baltimore City Public School teacher, former owner of a prolific dog walking business, American Advertising Federation Baltimore board member, blogger for the Baltimore Sun and senior copy stud for Renegade, he’s worn many hats—and never washed any of them.

Send comments, diatribes, and miscellaneous bitchings and moanings here.

You'll usually find him milling about in these places:























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