So last week was Advertising Week Baltimore, put together by the local chapter of the AAF. For some reason, they thought it was a good idea to have me on the board. Bless their hearts, I suppose they needed someone to finish the half-empties people left behind at cocktail hours.
The week got off to a smashing start with opening night featuring a presentation - or maybe it was a performance - by Ad Age's Bob Garfield. Jeff Goodby may have panned Bob's book, but there's no arguing that Garfield brings to light a few things that should be keeping the industry awake at night.
Equal parts doomsday predictions, podium soapbox histrionics, and level-headed insight, Bob worked a room full'a ad wonks over pretty good. Folks stayed glued to their seats despite the open bar just outside auditorium.
There's a testimonial for you.
Garfield and unknown assailant.
Spam makes so much more sense when it's rerouted to the proper recipient.
CEOs on the take, bailed out robber barons, big wigs nursing off the government teet - repeat after me:
What would Kevin Plank do?
For starters, the Under Armour CEO cut his salary from a half million bucks to $26,000 a year. Not a surprise coming from a guy who refused to take a bonus in 2006 when revenues didn't meet his expectations. He's also turned over the keys to the company car.
A classy move from a hometown business.
Amazing how much easier (and enjoyable) PR is when you've got a conscience.
I can't hide it. I won't hide it. Call me soft in the heart--or maybe in the head. But there is a piece of me who finds child-like delight in local car dealer spots. Particularly, those for Scotty Donahoo's Foreign Motors. Behold:
I won't get into a semantic debate about why these spots are or aren't awful. That would be like arguing whether or not rain is too wet. Sometimes the best spots are the worst. The Tao of Scotty Donahoo.
Donahoo's 30-second antics have transcended the business and transformed him into a bit of a Baltimore phenomena; it helped him generate serious attention when he publicly considered a run for mayor (NOTE: he couldn't do much worse than who we've got now) and even even inspired a Baltimore club scene remix.
The ads work for me because they don't work hard at all. It's just Scotty 'O, killin' 'em not-so-softly as he does some kind of car-huckster interpretive dance. He makes a total and awesome fool of himself--and enjoys every second of it. It's so unabashedly unconsumed. There's a lesson to learn from him, something I hear over on George Parker's space from time to time: People in this business take themselves too seriously. Stop.
Of course, I won't ever buy a Kia. From him or anyone else. But I like him for trying. And that's more than I can say for most spokespeople.
I'll leave you with this, an 80's car dealer spoof from a long-since defunct Baltimore production house. I think it'll provide just the right amount of perspective. (Warning, NSFW or the easily offended)
M.M. McDermott, ACD/Lease to Own
Previously in dinstinctively Baltimore ads: Local lawyer rains down golden shower of fire and brimstone.
I was sitting in rush hour traffic in downtown Baltimore yesterday with a typical commuter’s afternoon headache, when I turned from Guilford Ave. onto President St. and inched reluctantly forward next to one of those “Ride the Duck” boat-buses. I was stuck. I was annoyed. And I was forced to listen to "YMCA" and watch people dance with duck whistles in their mouths (on what I can only assume is vacation time.) 
I wondered how much people are paying to “Ride the Duck”, so I went to website when I eventually made it home. It’s $25 bucks for adults and $15 for kids 3-12--pretty smart in a devious, novelty kind of way. Why rope in one sucker by land when you can get two if by sea? A little more digging and I found that “Ride the Duck” is a brand of Herschend Family Entertainment. HFE’s other brands? Most notably Dollywood, but there are a surprising number of others- theme parks, adventure parks, aquariums, etc… They made a killing in Missouri and have a ton of corporate and entertainment sponsors.
Apparently cheese works a lot better when creating a successful brand than I thought. I’d love to live in world in which people who think up slogans like “quack-tacular” aren’t paid more than the teachers who tried so hard not to fail them. I'd also like to see them put torpedoes on that thing and take out the paddle boats that litter the Inner Harbor with their lameness.
Anyway, I’ll cross my fingers that I don’t get stuck behind the duck again and try to work Dollywood into my next trip to Pigeon Forge, TN.
Maggie Ross, Trainer/Recruiter
B-more archives: Shoot but don't get shot; Hard Times are behind us; Our horse race keeps it real.
In Baltimore, we've been accused of doing things just a little bit different. Chalk it up to the small town mentality with the big town population. Or our staunch pride in our colonial heritage. Or the fact that we lead the nation in heroin addicts per capita.
Either way, you may have tuned in to our little horse race this weekend. Have it every year. And though the pomp and circumstance of finely-bred animals battling to secure their spot in sports history is something to behold, it pales in comparison to the beer orgy that plays out in the infield. Picture Lord of the Flies being re-enacted by a cast of 100,000 as horses run around it all day long, and you've only scratched the patina of what makes the event so...special.
And of course, there's this:
It's only a matter of time before someone sponsors this.
The Renegade Running of the Urinals. It sings.
Previously in the Baltimore Experience: Our lawyers follow the golden rule , Spammer tries to out-tout me, and Sonic gives us the ol' half-peace sign.
M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/1999 Preakness Purple Heart
Hon, I'm from Baltimore. I bet I know more places to buy drugs than you do.
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