Friday Haiku: The Fridge Raider
This morning, I was raided. Opening the fridge to procure milk for my cereal, I noticed the top to my previously unopened quart had been torn asunder. I ascertained the identity of the culprit immediately, and she confessed the moment I casually brought the topic to light. However, the knave noted it was already opened when she purloined the silken dairy liquid, herself. So, twice today, I hath been raided.
I know I'm not the only one who has been victim to the stealthy cat burglars that swoop down upon the office refrigerator, snagging your last bit of Italian dressing or mayonnaise. One morning you have almost a full box of raisin bran, and the next it's half. One day, you have just enough cream cheese for the rest of the week and the next, you won't get through Wednesday.
So for your Friday Haiku pleasure (and my Honey Graham O's ire)...
The Friday Haiku: The Fridge Raider
My milk, my milk. Gone.
Never will it find bliss at
My bowl's cool bottom.
Today its the milk.
'Morrow, the desktop. Next week
The entire sales dept.
Savéd, we must be
From this thief in the day. My
Revenge, I will have.
5 others 'fessed up:
Me, a knave? A KNAVE?
I used such a tiny splash
I'm an innocent!
In light of your crime
An "innocent" like yourself
Should lose a finger.
Cap'n. I'm afraid I have to call you out on phrase two of your epic three phrase poem. "Department" still has three syllables, whether you abbreviate it or not.
Your milk was purloined
Along with your talent, so
Two crimes cancel out
This is just to say
You think things are bad now, Pops?
Give it 15 years.
Even my SONS have
swiped my clothes, deodorant,
of course, all the cash.
All I can say is:
Cap'n's milk was delicious,
Glad I took Fri. off.
Anonymous? Or
Should I call you Alicia,
milk thief? You've been warned.
Revenge--a dish best
Served with a cold glass of milk
And a splash of fear.
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