It's a slow, organic process. They require twice the fertilizer of, say, an account exec or marketing manager. Yup. Lot more fertilizer.
I've also found watering with Irish whiskey regularly speeds up the maturation process, but it may kill a couple leaves along the way.
McDermott's Footnote: We didn't write this. Or produce it. But seeing as how the good folks across the pond may not share our copyright laws, perhaps we should totally take credit for it.
Lawyer's Footnote: No.
McDermott's Footnote: We didn't write this.
41 minutes ago