28 March, 2008

Friday Haiku: Bumper Stickers


The subject for today's Friday Haiku is as old as the bumper. It makes a strong statement to everyone you pass about your favorite radio station, your college or university, your passion for visiting the Outer Banks, or your firm belief that FUR IS MURDER! A statement that will last pretty much as long as the bumper, just try and get it off. More than a decade later everyone will still know you voted Dukakis/Bentsen and who you "broke for" back in '88.


Friday Haiku: Bumper Stickers


Hear my voice fellow
Trav'lers. This is important.
Read as you eat dust.

My other car is...
Something else. Your college sucks.
Rather be fishin'.

Skynyrd! My kid beat
Up your honor roll student.
Calvin pees on...Hobbes?

I'm totally lost.
Sure, mean people suck. Let's just
Drive with our eyes closed.


Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Casual Fridays


--Captain Awesome, Project Specialist

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27 March, 2008

From the Intern Sweatshop: Britney, The Atlantic and "Your Mother"

Once again, we tossed a laptop down into the dungeon we lock our interns in, and this is what they threw back. Apparently, they also snuck a television and a magazine subscription in there as well. Maybe it's time we fine-tuned our security or perhaps stopped letting other interns guard the door. Anyway, once again, From the Intern Sweatshop...
--The Cap'n



After months of horrible publicity, Britney Spears may actually be taking a positive turn. Her normal tabloid cover page has been abandoned for a more tasteful approach, an intellectual magazine and a television sitcom.

Britney appeared on the Monday March 24th episode of How I Met Your Mother as Abby, a dermatologist’s receptionist with an unlucky crush on the main character, Ted. Viewers gave a surprising 85 percent rating to the episode, according to Yahoo! TV. Apparently the quality of the show was slightly better than Spears’ Video Music Awards performance in September.


The Atlantic magazine has also taken a liking to Spears, hence her appearance on their April cover.

Why would an intellectual magazine like The Atlantic put Britney--a faded diva who's in and out of rehab, doesn't quite understand the utility of underpants, and mothers her children the same way a three year old mothers the poor family cat--on the cover of their next issue, you ask? The same reason CBS put her in a television episode: to help Britt save some face; that, and The Atlantic is desperate for sales.

It’s scary that people have focused so much attention on celebrity life. Sometimes I talk to my friends about the most recent episode of One Tree Hill as if I know the characters. “Did you see what Lindsey did last night to Lucas? I couldn’t believe she left him!” Apparently, the entertainment industries have been numbed by the same epidemic: forget the news, forget the world, and focus on celebrity drama.



The entertainment masses seem to be confused lately, so I’ll make it clear: people buy tabloids to hear gossip, and people buy The Atlantic to read the latest news on why Obama should be president. People don’t buy The Atlantic to sprawl out on their couch with chips and laugh about the misfortunes of the rich and famous. But many do turn on the television to numb themselves to the world and catch up on celebrity drama. So a television comedy might be exactly what people want to see from Spears. That and, of course, the newest drama over the custody of her children or the most recent baring of her “soul” as she gets out of a car.
--Megan Stewart, Intern

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25 March, 2008

In Memorium: Hal Riney, 1932-2008

A different kind of ad guy.
He gave political ads an air of respectability...relatively speaking.
Gave wine coolers credibility...for a minute anyway.
Gave car buyers a new take on the American car company...however different it was.


And he gave the average copy shlub like myself a roadmap...even if I never have what it takes to follow it.

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24 March, 2008

Save Money and the Environment with Blackle

What is Blackle? It’s a Heap Media-owned search engine like Google, but with a black screen instead of a white screen. Why? According to Mark Ontkush of the ecoIron blog, “an all white web page uses about 74 watts to display, while an all black page uses only 59 watts.” Now Google gets about 200 million queries a day. Ontkush figures that if the average query is displayed for 10 seconds, that’s 550,000 hours per day on desktops around the world. And remember, that’s not hits, that’s only queries, so the time spent looking at a Google screen could be much higher. That’s 15 watts less per query, which he states would equal a global savings of 8.3 Megawatt-hours per day. Ontkush’s math and figures have been debated by multiple sources, but if his numbers are accurate, that could mean anywhere from 750 mwh to 1,500 mwh per year. And that would mean we’re saving money and using less fossil fuels.

Why are people debating?









Ontkush’s figures are based largely on cathode ray tube (CRT) monitors (and yes, that’s cathode ray tubes like in old-fashioned TVs), which comprise only about 25% of monitors used around the world. And CRTs, which are slowly being phased out, are used more widely in China and Latin America than in the United States. This study from Techlogg.com showed that Onkjush’s numbers for CRT monitors is pretty accurate; however, the power savings drops substantially with more popular liquid crystal display (LCD) monitors. In fact, monitors 22 inches or smaller actually use a few more watts with Blackle, while monitors 24 inches or larger generally (although not always) save anywhere from 1 to 4 watts with Blackle.

(It’s important to note that for this study, four CRT monitors, 23 LCD monitors were tested. Zero plasma display monitors were tested; according to ecoIron, their power consumption is similar to that of CRTs. No Organic Light Emitting Diode [OLED] monitors were tested, but it’s commonly held that OLEDs are more energy efficient than the other three models mentioned.)

What can be learned from this? If you’re using an old-fashioned monitor, blackle or google’s own darkoogle, can save you precious watts. And in the long term could save you money and save that little piece of real estate we like to call planet Earth. If you’re using an LCD monitor 22 inches or smaller, stick with regular google and you won’t cost yourself valuable watts.

Now some of you may be thinking, “Captain, why did you tell me all of this if you don’t want me to change a darn thing?”

1) For some, the change would benefit you. 2) You can find even more, simple power saving tips—regardless of what sites you surf on the company dime, like turning off your PC at night and disabling your screensaver—in this article, also from Techlogg. 3) This may not be the way you’ll save your company millions of dollars and finally earn that free copywriter’s trip to historic Williamsburg, Va., but thinking differently might be what saves a few dollars, your budget, and the planet. Think outside the box people, or as I like to say, “Think outside the hexagon.”*

*copyright 2008, Captain Awesome, Inc. LLC

-Captain Awesome, Project Specialist


ed.'s note: The Renegade Agency Confessional blog is committed to decreasing our nation's dependence on foreign fossil fuels. We're proud to announce our site is powered by clean, renewable baby seals.

We're doing our part for the environment. Are you?


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21 March, 2008

Friday Ad Haiku: Casual Fridays

For some folks, casual Friday's a big deal. "Ooh boy! I get to wear my ironic T-shirt from Hot Topic along with a pair of jeans! High five!"

In agency environs, casual dress is less a privilege than it is a given. Hell, half the time we have enough of a problem getting the Cap'n to keep his shoes and socks on--like a toddler who's in a state of perpetual undress.

So for the poor rat-racers out there, trudging through the maze for a bit of brie, shackled by the heavy burdens of business casual:

Choked with ties and skirts
I'm dead inside til Thursday
Friday: air it out.


(click photo to ENLARGE)

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Conference Calls

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Exhibitionist

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20 March, 2008

Tales from the Spam Filter: Neil Armstrong Is Still Spamming Me

Yet another email from America's favorite astronaut, this time threatening to break up my marriage if I don't buy his magic man pills. That freakin' Armstrong, always with the hard sell. (sorry)

(Click here to engorge)

Previously in Tales from the Spam Filter: I know where to buy drugs!

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Pill Hound

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18 March, 2008

Garfield Minus Garfield

Yet another Renegade chips in as our favorite ponytailed, leather-chair swiveling, Judd Nelson impersonating (c. Breakfast Club) Editor Craig Anderson threw this site our way.








Now, today’s bloggerific post isn’t as much about advertising as it is thinking outside the box. The comic is from the site, Garfield Minus Garfield, in which an artist removed Garfield, the cat, from Garfield, the comic. Through a little Photoshopping, a comic about a man and his lazy, lasagna-loving cat is turned into a “journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.”

The road to innovation is paved with the Who-Came-Up-With-This? mindset. In 1913, Notre Dame football coach, Knute Rockne, desperate to beat a bigger, heavily-favored Army team, resorted to an underused offensive strategy—the forward pass—and won 35-13; the game of football would be forever changed. Napster was the creation of a college dropout, living in a basement; it revolutionized the computer and music industry. Remember, without that college dropout, there is no iPod. And the Flowbee was invented by someone too lazy to go to the barber.
Maybe that was a bad example. But enjoy Garfield Minus Garfield.

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