Showing posts with label Darth Water. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Darth Water. Show all posts

15 May, 2008

WWJD: Drink Spiritual Water?

If you’re thinking the gentleman on these water bottles looks a lot like Jesus, you’re right. The product is called Spiritual Water, and it’s regular old bottled water with a scripture passage on the label. It hasn’t been blessed. It isn’t fortified. It’s water, but the idea is people could use those spiritual reminders. And where’s an easy place to put those spiritual reminders on something many people use every day?

I have to say, the concept makes sense. However, products like Spiritual Water, Testamints and Bible Gum all play into a tricky area—the convergence of religion and consumerism…or capitalism. On one side, you say you’re trying to do something positive. On the other, you’re making money off a product that plays into people’s devotion to their faith, something that runs far deeper than simple brand loyalty.


I’d love to believe this is a purely altruistic venture, but...

Founder and CEO Elicko Taieb says, “Church is on Sundays, but people need something to help them through the week.” Having gone to Catholic school from age four to 21, I know you can go to church every day if you want, and they make pocket bibles, so I’m not sure what need wasn’t being filled before Spiritual Water.

In the Charlotte Observer, Taieb also said 10 percent of the company's profits will go to charity. And according to the Denver Post, a 16.9 oz bottle of Spiritual Water retails for $2—cheaper than Fiji (so is my rent), but a step up in price from Deer Park. So you could buy Spiritual Water and donate to charity, or you could cut out the middle man, take the $0.20 you save buying a cheaper bottle, donate it to charity yourself, and read a verse from your pocket bible whenever you want.

Then I looked at the Spiritual Water website, http://www.spiritualh2o.com/, where I browsed through the 11 types of Spiritual Water such as “Defense,” “Balance,” “Energy” and “Formula J.” With titles like those, one might be inclined to think such waters come from special springs or contain vitamins or energy supplements, but again, no. Every bottle is purified 100% California municipal water. At least Holy Drinking Water is blessed by a priest or member of the clergy. Liquid OM is energized by striking a gong and Tibetan bowls in its vicinity. And Darth Water is imbued with Midi-chlorians and the power of the dark side.

And finally, there’s the convoluted 15 minute promotional video on the site, which spends the first 5 minutes reminding the viewer water is important (right, important, source of all life on our planet, without which we wouldn’t even exist, I forgot), the next two minutes reminding the viewer prayer is good, and sure enough, introducing Spiritual Water as a solution for both needs.

Perhaps a spiritual reminder is enough for consumers to ignore the obvious capitalist sentiment here, but regardless of religion, products like this walk a slippery slope I’m not sure I could partner with. At any rate, I just don’t want to be the agency tasked with the anti-comp campaign.



Jesus Juice, please, call someone else.

--Captain Awesome

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13 February, 2008

Was Andre Agassi Right?

Those who remember Canon’s campaign featuring the tennis world's answer to Patrick Swayze would recall the slogan “Image Is Everything.” Now, we wouldn’t go so far as to say image is everything. I’m a firm believer that no matter how brilliant the creative is, your poop cone idea may never get the market penetration you’re looking for.




But whether you’re selling goods, services or the seriousness of your local law enforcement, image can be pretty important.


Take a look at the following, and tell me I’m wrong:

This image says, “Stop what you’re doing, young scallywag, or I’ll tell you to stop again in my Outside Voice.”

This one says, “If I don’t hit you with the first shot, I’m probably not going to chase you.”

And this picture of Peruvian anti-riot police says, “Do what we say, or we’ll blow up Alderaan.”

In some cases, image does make a difference. Those guys look like the Kevlar Knights of the I’m Gonna Kick Your Ass Table.

Now take a look at some products for which image pretty much is everything

Axe body spray, with a campaign that essentially says, "Use Axe, and you will attract women," has been hugely successful. But it’s just spray deodorant, the fumes on which many a prepubescent chump has choked on in middle school locker rooms across the country. However, call it a “body spray,” pump up its image, and suddenly new life has been breathed into an old product. Tag body spray by Gillette adopted the same strategy.

Gatorade refers to their new G2 as an “off-field hydrator.” It’s really just low-calorie juice. But Pepsi labels the product as Gatorade and uses sports stars like Derek Jeter and Peyton Manning to build a brand image. Whatever happened to hydrating with WATER? But water is another culprit. People will pay $3.99 for a bottle of Fiji water, which tastes no better than $1.19 Aquafina, which tastes no better than tap water, simply because Fiji has an image that it's better than less expensive faucet-derived water.

The next big thing: Darth Water.

Trust me.

Previously in law enforcement: kids dig teddy bears.

Captain Awesome, Project Specialist

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