Friday Ad Haiku: The Account Executive

Remember to smile.

Give 'em the ol' shuck and jive.

You have people skills.

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Office Decor

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Uncommissioned

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Was Andre Agassi Right?

Those who remember Canon’s campaign featuring the tennis world's answer to Patrick Swayze would recall the slogan “Image Is Everything.” Now, we wouldn’t go so far as to say image is everything. I’m a firm believer that no matter how brilliant the creative is, your poop cone idea may never get the market penetration you’re looking for.




But whether you’re selling goods, services or the seriousness of your local law enforcement, image can be pretty important.

Take a look at the following, and tell me I’m wrong:

This image says, “Stop what you’re doing, young scallywag, or I’ll tell you to stop again in my Outside Voice.”

This one says, “If I don’t hit you with the first shot, I’m probably not going to chase you.”

And this picture of Peruvian anti-riot police says, “Do what we say, or we’ll blow up Alderaan.”

In some cases, image does make a difference. Those guys look like the Kevlar Knights of the I’m Gonna Kick Your Ass Table.

Now take a look at some products for which image pretty much is everything

Axe body spray, with a campaign that essentially says, "Use Axe, and you will attract women," has been hugely successful. But it’s just spray deodorant, the fumes on which many a prepubescent chump has choked on in middle school locker rooms across the country. However, call it a “body spray,” pump up its image, and suddenly new life has been breathed into an old product. Tag body spray by Gillette adopted the same strategy.

Gatorade refers to their new G2 as an “off-field hydrator.” It’s really just low-calorie juice. But Pepsi labels the product as Gatorade and uses sports stars like Derek Jeter and Peyton Manning to build a brand image. Whatever happened to hydrating with WATER? But water is another culprit. People will pay $3.99 for a bottle of Fiji water, which tastes no better than $1.19 Aquafina, which tastes no better than tap water, simply because Fiji has an image that it's better than less expensive faucet-derived water.

The next big thing: Darth Water.

Trust me.

Previously in law enforcement: kids dig teddy bears.

Captain Awesome, Project Specialist

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The Will Ferrell Theory

Memorize this formula: WF+P=S, where WF=Will Ferrell, P=Any product that hasn't been banned by the FDA, and S= a metric S%$#-TON of Hilarious (and a possible increase in product revenues).

Wieden + Kennedy's latest ads for Old Spice, though not the best in their series (see: "Foam"), demonstrate the formula's infallibility.








M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Ad Scientist

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Friday Haiku: Office Décor

Why is it some people’s offices look like a board room, some look like a dorm room and some look like a sultan’s harem? Our VP of Production has antique cameras and framed posters from classic movies and jazz musicians. Our Director of New Business Development always has five lamps on, yet it still feels like dusk. My office has two people, a twelve-year-old couch, and a picture of my niece...taped to the wall. So this week’s haiku is dedicated to the office décor you love and love to hate.

Leather couch: awesome.
Hang in there kitty: cliché.
Three-foot droid: I’m scared.







Last week's Haiku: Super Bowl Spots




Captain Awesome, Project Specialist

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"Get a better audience"...and some duct tape and a handful of lollipops.

(Click photo to enlarge.)

A sunglasses ad pulls double-duty as an unintentional law enforcement PSA about the dangers of child predators. Cuz, when you're scoping for the perfect teddy bait--er, bear you don't have time to worry about the harmful effects of UV light. I wonder what kind of van he drives as he's on the prowl for "a better audience."

You'd think the smokey aroma of his soul burning in hell would have given the AD on this project some kind of hint that this ad is so very, very (very)...wrong.

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Citizen on Patrol

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How's about you gimme a real breakfast, and I don't shoot you in the face.

Tony "Paulie Walnuts" Sirico don't take no mouth from no freakin' counter chump.



So many things right about this. A tough, simple character talkin' straight about breakfast. I dig the direction Denny's is taking with this. One hell of a pitchman they landed. Plus, he was the only guy willing to work for a U-Haul full of silk ties and phone cards.

Note to Dunkin' Donuts' early 90's Sirico ad: Thanks for playing.


Related: Audi marketing exec makes you an offer you can't understand.


M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/Consigliare

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Friday Ad Haiku: The Super Bowl Spot

I hear there might even be a real football game in between commercials this year. Over/Under on the number of times the announcers compare Eli to Peyton? Tom Brady to God?

2 Mil for an ad?

Just run on the field nude with

Logos on your ass.

Now accepting haikus and prop bets.

Previously in the Friday 5-7-5: Art Directors

M.M.McDermott, ACD/Copywriter/3rd String Punter

"Tom celebrated his first Super Bowl win as he did every win that year: by playing his first-generation Nintendo Game Boy."

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