Friday Ad Haiku: Screamer Spots

You may call them screamers, barkers or the Mays/Lesko special. Frequently found on daytime TV and after midnight between the local personal injury firm and phone "party" line commercials--they're the bane of every copywriter's existence. They're the low budget ads that look like they were made 20 years ago by the graphic wizards behind Press Your Luck and Flash Gordon. But they pay a hell of a lot of bills while agencies and production companies alike await the greenlight for their next The Matrix, because let's face it, most people looking to make a commercial don't have budgets like Saturn or Toyota.

Your Friday Ad Haiku: The Screamer Spot

1-800-Call-
Us. 1-800-Call-Us.
1-800-Call-

Us. Visit us on
the Web at 1-800-
Call-Us.com. That's

1-800-Call-
Us. Call right now. Us. Today.
Call. Us.--Who cares if haikus only have 5 syllables in the final line. This commercial isn't airing in China. Let's work in the phone number one more time. 1-800-Call-Us...Call today.

--Captain Awesome, Copywriter

PS From people who've met Billy Mays and Matt Lesko, I've heard they're both pretty awesome guys.

Last Week on the Friday 5-7-5: Rush Jobs

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Top 6 “No’s”, Captain Awesome Is Told Nearly Every Week

1. No, the client does not want a commercial that has an alien mothership blowing up the Arizona coastline.

2. No, the client does not want an alien mothership.

3. No, the client does not want to blow up the Arizona coastline.

4. No, we’re not going to send you to the Arizona coastline. Arizona doesn’t even have a coastline.
Captain Awesome looks confused.

5. No, we haven’t found someone to replace you yet. Every time we mention salary, the interviewee just starts laughing.

6. No, you can’t write a blog about this. Now, go back to your office…cubicle…(groans)…Fortress of Awesomitude.

Captain Awesome scurries away, with his arms spread wide, making airplane propeller sounds.


--Captain Awesome, Project Specialist

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